How to Get Unstuck: Lesson #8
Here's a quick reminder of the lessons I learned so far about getting unstuck.
Learning 1: Stop fighting it and accept whatever situation is keeping me stuck.
Learning 2: I already know what the next step is.
Learning 3: Get out of the rut before I fall in a trench!
Learning 4: I am responsible for me.
Learning 5: The Universe has my back, so trust my instincts, trust my inner knowing!
Learning 6: Before making a choice, step into my vision of who I want to be, the self-confident, self-loving me, and then decide from a place of openness and self-belief.
Learning 7: I'm only stuck because I'm allowing myself to be, as long as I'm alive I can make changes.
There is one thing that I realised recently that you might recognise either in yourself or the people around you as keeping you stuck - being too nice! Yep, trying to please everyone, usually from a desire to be liked, which is really fear of being rejected or criticised.
Without being aware of it I've been kept playing small, kept stuck, by my fear of criticism, fear of being told off, fear of people not liking me... yes, I've had plenty of that in my life! "You're too opinionated/ enthusiastic/ direct/ powerful/ sensitive, Helen." (I still am). "Being shy is selfish, Helen." (I'm not any more, but I still have my reserved moments). "It's not 'I want', Helen, it's 'I would like'." (Seriously? We have to ask permission for what we want? That may be 'polite' but I've learned it's bad to think like that. It encourages a sense of powerlessness so it keeps you stuck). Gosh, I could carry on and on with the unhelpful nonsense we instil in one another... It makes me mad!
The truth is not everyone is going to like or value me, nor you. We cannot please everyone and to be honest, I don't want to. I want to work with people who love what I do and the way I do it, people who value who I am, warts and all! (No, I don't have any warts right now, but the day may come... ) Yes, there will be people I care about who criticise me, but if I value them then I will want to hear them out, think about what they've said and whether it is useful to me and what I'm trying to achieve before I take it on board as a learning or a reason to make some adjustments. If it's not helpful, then I'll let it go, and focus on doing what I'm here to do to the best of my ability and with love in my heart.
So my most recent learning is that criticism is just a form of conditioning, a way to remind you that you're not fitting in or conforming to accepted norms. Pah to that. Leaders always buck the trend or they're not leading. If you want to be a leader, if you want to change the world, you'll be told off, criticised, not liked, possibly even hated (Oooo... please don't go to that extreme with me... shivers!) .
Hopefully there's been something in here you've found useful for your own life.
Either way, do take some time out to review your life, when you've got stuck and what happened to get you unstuck. Along the way what have you learned about the best ways for you to get unstuck? It's powerful stuff!
Have you enjoyed this series on How To Get Unstuck? Please leave a comment below to let me know if you've found it useful or if you have something else to add!
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I love reading your feedback so please do take a moment to share the personal a-ha's this article has raised for you, and what you are going to do differently as a result, in the comments below.
EXPLORE THESE ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other articles in the series What I Learned About How To Get Unstuck are
Lesson 4&5 Lesson 6
Want to know more?
Check-out this article: When Overwhelm Stops You & How to Deal With It
Also, there are a number of live video recordings on the Hands-on-Business Facebook page where I go into greater detail about different aspects of your life purpose, showing up, your business and what is in your hands and fingerprints.
WORK WITH ME
I'm Helen Elizabeth Evans, a London based life purpose coach and consultant. I work with women in business (and open-minded men!) to powerfully awaken their life purpose work, using a unique combination of scientific hand and fingerprint analysis, deep intuitive skills and practical business acumen running my own businesses for the last 21 years.
I'd love to start a conversation about whether we're a good fit to work together. Simply use this link to arrange an informal chat. There's no hard sell. Just a warm, down-to-earth conversation and a straight forward, honest assessment of whether working with me would be right for you.
I have been running my own businesses from a home office since 1996 and am passionate about business being the vehicle for our freedom. I am also deeply passionate about us each having a purpose on this planet and it's my job to help you find and live yours. I am known as the UK's No.1 Scientific Hand & Fingerprint Analyst as I introduced the system to the UK in 2010. It is the most accurate profiling tool I have encountered. I also have a masters in NLP and have studied astrology and psychology for years - getting your mind to work for you rather than against you!
My clients tell me I am a powerful kick-starter for their purpose, helping them clarify their focus and create an inspired vision aligned with their purpose. They describe me as a highly intuitive, deeply powerful, passionate, authentic and an extremely practical truth teller who makes them laugh, feel safe and free to be their true selves. I help them discover who they really are, find their true purpose, give them a spiritual blueprint for their life expression and help them create a business that is based on their life purpose, so that they can live happy, fulfilled lives without feeling like its all a struggle or just hum drum.