Do you lack self-worth?
If you feel you do then, can you define or describe what that lack feels like?
(Stick with me... I've been there!)
What is this 'self-worth' you are missing?
Honestly, I want to know. (Please tell me in the comments below).
If you aren't sure then ask yourself: "What would it look or feel like if I had self-worth?"
Let's be honest with ourselves... It is very easy to read over those questions; to not really take them in; to not hear them; to not answer them for yourself.
We want to assign our challenges and blocks to this thing we call self-worth, as if it's a package that holds all our issues.
When we do that we start to think "Oh, it's that thing called Self-Worth... that's what I need. It'll make me feel better. I've heard it so often from everyone that I am sure it is true for me too."
When I feel bad about myself I want someone to just give me the right sticky plaster to put over my wound and make me feel better. Let me get Self-Worth. It's a perfect sticky plaster (aka Band-Aid).
Try this little game with yourself... Trust me, it'll be worth it.
In a state of simple curiosity - keep pushing away those thoughts that cause you to feel yucky and just be open - ask yourself...
If I had this thing called 'self-worth' what would I do differently?
Which of my relationships would I let go? The friends, lovers, partners, family members, acquaintances who always seem to leave me feeling ucky...
Would I keep doing this job I hate? I'm not going to think about what I'd do instead, just 'if I valued myself and my time and what I love doing, would I keeping putting up with this job?'
How would I respond to those underhanded digs people close to me make? Would I keep smiling, ignoring their little passive-aggressive comments while I sink back into unhappiness underneath?
How would I treat my body? Would I still treat chocolate as my best friend? Would I still hole up in my bedroom hiding out from the world instead of going to the park to for a long leisurely walk and watch those cute little ducks play in the pond?
If I loved and valued myself, and was loved and valued by everyone, who would I hang out with?
When you really think about the answers to those questions it is a bit of a wake up call, isn't it?
You don't need that sticky plaster called Self-Worth, you just need to ask yourself how you need to behave to be happy, what actions you need to take to be happy.
The difference between a person with good self-worth and someone who lacks self-worth is what you are willing to tolerate, especially in terms of your own behaviour, your own lack of integrity.
Yes, integrity. Ooops, does that irritate you - the idea I might question your integrity? Good. Get in touch with that anger... it's important as you'll see further on.
Not honouring what is in your heart, acting to please others, doing things because someone said you should without considering whether it is something you believe in, making excuses to yourself or others... all these are evidence of being out of integrity with you, the real you.
Under the lack of self-worth you will discover a volcano of anger that your lack of self-worth is keeping nicely contained. The fear of releasing that anger can be one of the reasons we don't allow ourselves to act with self-worth. Valuing yourself might just make you have to look at how truly pissed off you are.
But then anger is such a cleansing emotion. It tells you what really matters to you, what you care about, where your boundaries are... it gives clarity and focus. It gives you impetus to get stuff done. Don't stuff it down, lack of self-worth is one consequence of that...
Do you really need Self-Worth? No. You just need to act as if you have it.
Breaking that pattern of behaviour that makes you feel bad about yourself isn't easy. the first step is the hardest, but consistently asking yourself before you act, "How would I act if I valued myself?" will change your life and will completely change how you feel about yourself and how those around you treat you. It may take time but it'll happen.
Stop looking for Self-Worth. Just act as if you value your existence.
JOIN THE CONVERSATION
I love reading your feedback so please do take a moment to share the personal a-ha's this article has raised for you, and what you are going to do differently as a result, in the comments below.
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Want to know more?
Check-out the video I created over on the Hands-on-Business Facebook page The Truth About Self-Worth. I also do a LIVE video every Wednesday at 6.30pm BST where I go into greater detail about different aspects of your life purpose, showing up, your business and what is in your hands and fingerprints.
WORK WITH ME
I'm Helen Elizabeth Evans, a London based life purpose coach and consultant. I work with women in business (and open-minded men!) to powerfully awaken their life purpose work, using a unique combination of scientific hand and fingerprint analysis, deep intuitive skills and practical business acumen running my own businesses for the last 21 years.
I'd love to start a conversation about whether we're a good fit to work together. Simply use this link to arrange an informal chat. There's no hard sell. Just a warm, down-to-earth conversation and a straight forward, honest assessment of whether working with me would be right for you.
I have been running my own businesses from a home office since 1996 and am passionate about business being the vehicle for our freedom. I am also deeply passionate about us each having a purpose on this planet and it's my job to help you find and live yours. I am known as the UK's No.1 Scientific Hand & Fingerprint Analyst as I introduced the system to the UK in 2010. It is the most accurate profiling tool I have encountered. I also have a masters in NLP and have studied astrology and psychology for years - getting your mind to work for you rather than against you!
My clients tell me I am a powerful kick-starter for their purpose, helping them clarify their focus and create an inspired vision aligned with their purpose. They describe me as a highly intuitive, deeply powerful, passionate, authentic and an extremely practical truth teller who makes them laugh, feel safe and free to be their true selves. I help them discover who they really are, find their true purpose, give them a spiritual blueprint for their life expression and help them create a business that is based on their life purpose, so that they can live happy, fulfilled lives without feeling like its all a struggle or just hum drum.
If you want to powerfully kick start your life purpose then book in a call with me. At the very least, you'll leave the call inspired and focused. You can create a life that you love, one that leaves you feeling inspired and delighted every day.