Each of us have a calling within in us to express our uniqueness in this world, to do things our way, and yet most people I meet, at the very least, suppress this part of themselves in their effort to fit in and be liked.
The knock on effect is that we become less engaged with life, less passionate, less present and our dreams seem to recede further and further away. We lose our drive, our impetus and life feels hum drum. We also feel we have less to contribute, and we find ourselves conforming and copying and looking to others to give us ideas of what we 'should' do...
As I rose higher and higher in my corporate career, creating and heading up the first customer services department in the UK cinema industry at the time, it felt as if I was on someone else's roller coaster.
I loved many aspects of it, especially the vision creation, travelling, training around the country and working with other committed, smart people; but it wasn't my dream, not that I had one any more - just doing what comes next can be a form of 'stuckness' too.
I started life wanting to do things my way, with loads of enthusiasm and ideas, but was soon told to 'get back in my box' and do as I was told, so I learned to appear to conform and suppress my inner pioneer - the part of me that saw possibilities, saw new opportunities and was brave enough to want to stride out and grab them.
Most people don't like change, don't like people who 'rock the boat' or 'upset their apple cart'. It feels safe to stay where they are, to avoid surprises. I call this living 'in the box', within a set of rules someone has made up of how things should be.
So when you, who thinks 'outside the box' or perhaps thinks as if there is no box there at all, come along, the average person feels uncomfortable and do what they can to put you back into the box they think we should all live in, whether they do that through direct criticism or some sort of passive-aggressive manipulation. [Forgive them, they're on auto-pilot.]
Like most people I know, I want to be liked and prefer to avoid conflict, so in my early career I'd do my best to follow 'the rules', to fit in (stay in my box) and get along with as many people as possible - consistently suppressing most of my ideas and desires around wanting to create change, exploring new possibilities and doing things differently.
It didn't work! I just got lonelier, sadder and more disconnected as time went on; and my self-worth diminished.
With the purpose work I now do, I now understand that the spirit of who we are requires self-expression, and living our lives with a bunch of "shoulds" as our guides takes the life force out of us slowly but surely. Yep, people-pleasing is literally sucking the life out of you!
Having read this far, it's probable there is a part of you that is an out-and-out rebel, a maverick, or at the very least, you have a strong independent streak. This is your inner pioneer, the part of you that knows you are unique and have something different, and thus valuable, to offer the world; the part of you that is calling out to explore new things, create change and make an impact.
If you have been suppressing or ignoring this part of yourself in favour of being liked, fitting in, pleasing a loved one, keeping the peace, feeding your belief you are not enough or for any other reason, then you are strangling your inner pioneer, your life force, your passion and your drive. You are strangling your uniqueness and the part of you that is capable of making a real difference in the world.
If you're struggling to connect to your dream, to understand what is unique and special about you or your work, to face your fears and go for it, then consider that you may have been strangling your inner pioneer for so long you may need to breathe some life into him/her before he/she becomes strong enough again to support you in doing the work you are her to do, in becoming the person you are here to be, in making the difference you are here to make.
There are various ways you might do this. Simply start by listening to your heart. There may be only mini messages to start with but the more you pay attention and act on them the more you will feel and thus connect to your inner drives. Your inner pioneer might take a while to reveal him/herself but he/she will!
A fast and powerful way to re-connect to your inner self and re-awaken your inner pioneer that helped me and my clients, was to connect with who we really are and our life purpose as revealed in our fingerprints.
"My hand and fingerprint analysis with Helen astounded me. During the previous months I had been in some doubt and confusion as to how I could move forward in my career; making decisions and then committing to them was fraught with fear. After our session my confusion cleared. I have been able to make decisions quickly and best of all, stop wasting time. My energies are focused and I have the confidence to recognise my gifts and use them. I now have a deep inner connection to my purpose and this inspires me to share with others in a powerful and most profound way." Lynne Charlton
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I love reading your feedback so please do take a moment to share the personal a-ha's this article has raised for you, and what you are going to do differently as a result, in the comments below.
EXPLORE THESE ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
There are a number of live video recordings on the Hands-on-Business Facebook page where I go into greater detail about different aspects of your life purpose, showing up, your business and what is in your hands and fingerprints.
I also go LIVE every Wednesday at 6.30pm BST so do bring your questions if you'd like to - watch one of the live recordings and subscribe to them to get notifications of when I next go live.
WORK WITH ME
I'm Helen Elizabeth Evans, a London based life purpose coach and consultant. I work with women in business (and open-minded men!) to powerfully awaken their life purpose work, using a unique combination of scientific hand and fingerprint analysis, deep intuitive skills and practical business acumen running my own businesses for the last 21 years.
I'd love to start a conversation about whether we're a good fit to work together. Simply use this link to arrange an informal chat. There's no hard sell. Just a warm, down-to-earth conversation and a straight forward, honest assessment of whether working with me would be right for you.
I have been running my own businesses from a home office since 1996 and am passionate about business being the vehicle for our freedom. I am also deeply passionate about us each having a purpose on this planet and it's my job to help you find and live yours. I am known as the UK's No.1 Scientific Hand & Fingerprint Analyst as I introduced the system to the UK in 2010. It is the most accurate profiling tool I have encountered. I also have a masters in NLP and have studied astrology and psychology for years - getting your mind to work for you rather than against you!
My clients tell me I am a powerful kick-starter for their purpose, helping them clarify their focus and create an inspired vision aligned with their purpose. They describe me as a highly intuitive, deeply powerful, passionate, authentic and an extremely practical truth teller who makes them laugh, feel safe and free to be their true selves. I help them discover who they really are, find their true purpose, give them a spiritual blueprint for their life expression and help them create a business that is based on their life purpose, so that they can live happy, fulfilled lives without feeling like its all a struggle or just hum drum.